SITTING WAITING WISHING , serena

[DANIEL RANDOLPH HUMPHREY]

dan was being lazy. he was seriously exhausted through a real lack of sleep lately, he’d been letting things get very much on top of him, and he was finding everything a struggle. he loved his major, he loved new york university more than anything, but the scandals, the gossip, and the fact that everything still felt like high school was getting to him. dan had thought that university would be a new start for him, but then that was when he had been all set to go to yale, he would have been out of the big apple, and away from all the drama that it had brought his life, able to forge new friendships, and relationships, and forget the past and everything that had happened since he’d become known by gossip girl. but the reality of that possible future for him had not come true, and he’d ended up stuck at nyu, sure he did love it, but it wasn’t yale, it wasn’t ivy league, and that cut at him. he was still in the city, still within gossip girls radar, surrounded by old school friends and enemies, and his family were living here too – he hadn’t managed to escape, to live his life the way he wanted. and his hard work had not in the end paid off, because money was always going to be the barrier to the life he wanted.

almost dozing off again, dan’s head tilted to the side and he suddenly saw the alarm clock on his bedside cabinet – it read 12.04pm. this made him jump, he was supposed to be meeting serena in just over forty five minutes, and all the way in central park. dan seriously could not miss this meeting with her, it was incredibly important, and he felt that he’d be letting the blonde girl down if he couldn’t make it. the dark haired eighteen year old jumped out of his bed, and ran to the shower. He had to look presentable at the very least for this. once out of the shower, dan changed rapidly, a blue checked shirt and jeans seemed fine, along with some simple brown shoes. the boy ran a hand through his hair, checking himself in the mirror. dan grabbed his grey coat, it was definitely starting to get chilly out there, and the two of them were going to be outside, so he definitely needed to stay warm. new york was pretty beautiful in the winter, the snow made it epic, and everything began to really feel christmassy around this time, but it was always freezing, and dan disliked that intently.

almost running as he left the loft, locking the door behind him, and texting serena that he was on his way, dan headed in the direction of central park. he was definitely anxious for this meeting – after all, it was about him and serena. he was always nervous when he was considering the beautiful blonde girl. everything was complicated about their situation, it always had been. there was always chemistry between them, no matter what, and dan hated seeing her date other people, and she’d always said that she hated seeing him date other people, but then when they got together there was always that tension, always the same fights between them, and it was just too difficult to be together. and then there was lily and rufus, in love, and that just made things seem wrong – after all they were step brother and sister. the problems that could cause – but then, the raw attraction that he had for her seemed to outweigh all those problems, and surely love could conquer everything? reaching the park, dan looked around, and eventually found the familiar blonde hair, and face. he headed towards serena, a typical dan humphrey bemused expression on his face. “serena.” he said simply, and led her to a bench. “i’ve said this before. we need to talk.” it was pure and simple, and true. “i mean, what’s going on between us? where are we at? because i really don’t know right now.”

word count: 681.
notes: will certainly get bettterrrrr, just not great at starters.

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[SERENA VAN DER WOODSEN]

*whatever it is that you came to teach me

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B E A U T I F U L I A M H E R E T O L E A R N I T S U P R I S E[/color]

everything i asked for in my prayers*[/color]
M Y A N G E L S B R O U G H T Y O U T O M Y L I F E
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[/color][/b] She didn’t have time to even ask how he was because he went right to the point, leaving Serena with nowhere to escape or turn their talk into an easy chat. If he didn’t know where they were at, she hadn’t much of a clue either and she had been thinking about that a lot, but she couldn’t deny the fact that she missed Dan and that she had been hurting pretty much the whole time they were apart. "I don’t know what to say, because I don’t know where we at either Dan." She said with a sad smile on her lips that didn’t reach her eyes. She was trying to make things easy on both of them and she had worked hard on not making him feel uncomfortable around her but when he asked things like that, when he wanted to talk, she just had to run and hide. "I have to be honest with you. I miss you." She wanted him to know her feelings hadn’t changed, no matter what the last argument had been and what they said on it; she didn’t even remember why they had fought this time. "I still love you." It wasn’t going to be of much help anyway, when everything was planned to go against them, and yet, she was willing to bet on another try.

"I've got something to say..."
"Someone else is talking."
I think, therefore I am.
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TAG: Daniel Randolph Humphrey
CLOTHES: here!
WORD COUNT: 941
LYRICS: Beautiful Suprise by India.Arie
CREDITS: temp by SARI of EOTW! & CAUTION!

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[DANIEL RANDOLPH HUMPHREY]

dan shivered slightly in the cold new york winter air. he definitely loved new york, it had been a brilliant place to grow up, but it was certainly cold in the winter. the summer was beautiful, all bright and warm, and full of sunshine, but the winters were freezing. the snow all around was gorgeous though, he had to admit, and definitely made it less bleak than it would seem otherwise. he remembered when he and jenny had been younger, and the whole family had been together, ie, before mum had moved to hudson, winters had been a whole lot of fun. girls versus boys snowball fights, of which of course dan and rufus won a lot of, though had had to cede to the girls a few times, making snowmen all together out in their small back garden round the back of the loft, and drinking hot cocoa and sitting down to classic films together. it had been wonderful as kids living in brooklyn, they’d never really had the concerns that they did now. never knowing of the upper east side as anything but some rich people who’d look down on them if they had known who they were. it had been a pretty perfect lifestyle, but then dan had met serena at st judes, and jenny had wanted to rise up and be known as somebody in new york, and their mum had left. and just everything had changed, dan had been forced into the upper east side when dating serena, he’d been involved in the scandals and gossip, and in all honesty he hated it, he longed for the simpler life. but that wasn’t going to return ever was it now, and he just had to focus on keeping himself to himself.

when dan looked at serena waiting for her to reply, his stomach was jumping. this was the familiar feeling he’d had since he was fifteen and had first fallen in love with serena. of course she hadn’t known him then, he had been lonely boy, the boy no one at st judes knew about, the boy who had no friends, but then aged seventeen everything had changed when serena had noticed him. dan’s stomach was full of butterflies, and he felt that his heart was racing. just looking at the blonde girl confirmed what he thought he’d been feeling, he was definitely not over her yet, they had such a ridiculously complicated relationship already, and they were going to be step siblings, and yet, dan couldn’t stop thinking of her as a girl that he loved, a girl that he wanted to be with, it seemed that dan could simply not just be friends with the blonde girl. it just couldn’t work, dan couldn’t see her as just a friend, it was too difficult, if every time he was with her he felt like this, just so uncontrollable, and needing to show her he cared. it was impossible. as she said she had no idea where they were at either, dan smiled softly, and looked down. “i was afraid you’d say that.” he replied, “it’s all got so complicated hasn’t it?” all the inter personal relationships of the upper east side were complicated, there was no denying that. they’d all dated each other, well aside from dan and blair, and well there was no way in hell that that would ever happen. it just seemed so absolutely ridiculous that dan and serena couldn’t be happy, they could have fun, and laugh and just be themselves with each other, but then the fights started, and the commitment and trust issues always ended up breaking them up. it just didn’t work usually.

things didn’t seem hopeful to dan, the way they were going, but dan desperately wanted to give him and serena another try, just another go to see if they could make things work once and for all. it would be so easy for the two of them to give up, and just not try things out again, and just leave it, but since when had the two of them ever had things easy? dan wanted to fight for serena, to shout to the world that he wanted her. “i miss you too, serena.” dan said, looking at her. and then she said the words that filled the humphrey boy with hope, immediately making his heart soar, and his pulse race, and just making him have no idea what so ever what to do. he replied, “i still love you too.” if the unchanged feelings weren’t a sign that the two of them should be back together, dan didn’t know what else was?! “what are we going to do, we’re a right pair.” dan said, a bit of a grin on his face. the two of them seemed to always end up in this ridiculous situation. “all i know is, i don’t want to lose you again, no way, you’re the girl i want.” dan grinned, “i want everything we had before, except the fights, those i can definitely do without.” the dark haired boy wanted this back more than anything, but he wanted it to work this time, to be something special like it had been before, but something that they could make work and push through all the fights, and not break up over stupid trivial things. “no secrets, nothing, just me and you together?” dan questioned serena, hoping that she’d reply in the affirmative. dan was incredibly willing to work his hardest to give their relationship a chance, and if she had no problem with it, he couldn’t see why lily and rufus would mind, after all it wasn’t as if they were actually going to be siblings, or related, just through marriage.

word count: 960.
notes: they are going to be adorable!

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[SERENA VAN DER WOODSEN]

*whatever it is that you came to teach me

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B E A U T I F U L I A M H E R E T O L E A R N I T S U P R I S E[/color]

everything i asked for in my prayers*[/color]
M Y A N G E L S B R O U G H T Y O U T O M Y L I F E
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[/color][/b] She said, they had those talks every time they break up and she knew where that was heading, they were going to end in the same no-end street. "My world is not easy and I know you hate it but… you will have to deal with it if you want to be with me." Serena believe they could be happy, despite all the problems they had and all the things they were going through she still loved him, she loved him with all her heart no matter how many boys had been after him. She knew she was giving him hope and she didn’t know if their relationship could handle another break up.

Every time they tried to be friends they ended up having ‘The talk’ and she didn’t regret any of their tries, she thought that they were end up together in the end, because they were meant to be together. But when they were together, the jealous and the fights because there was always some motive to not trust the other always ruined everything they worked so hard to build. "I think we can be together." She said, and wide smile spread on her face when Dan told her he loved her too, she knew that already that hadn’t been enough all the last times they had tried. Serena was ready to bet for another try but this time everything was going to be more difficult because of their parents getting married. Rufus and Lilly were making their already complicated relation a living hell and she was still upset with her mother for that. She doubted she was going to take it bad but the rest of the Elite and Upper Class were going to make a big gossip of it and try to bring them down. "I love you too but you have to know this is going to be complicated." Dan was right, they were right together, they felt good together but still it was so complicated. They wanted what they had, the sweet and happy easy relation they had but all got complicated with the lies and the friends and the gossip. "Do you mean you want to try again? You and me."

She was willing to try again and make it work this time, she will have to work on the trust thing and the lies but it was going to be complicated. "Yes, you and me, together, without lies, and all those things. " Still, with Rufus and Lilly… they will have to talk with them about that one and they will have to work very hard to keep their relationship going but she trusted, she was betting on it and this time it was going to work. "I love this time of the year." She sipped from her coffee and remembered the time they were together, the first time they got together, how sweet and clumsy he was and how nervous to be with her, the first time he said he loved her and the first time he kissed her, it had been everything so magical and they were so full of hopes, so full of happiness and joy and everything seemed so perfect. Little they know they will end like that, all those things, all those problems… she didn’t know why everything has to be so ad between them when for the rest of people seemed to easy to get together and do it well and not so complicated, maybe it was because inside her circle there was always something going on, always someone trying to bring someone down and there was always people judging each other.

"We will have to talk with Rufus and Lilly about this, you know that and we will get a lot of comments about us." Serena was used to them, to the gossips and people staring at her and judging her and trying to bring her down and lately Dan had been on the main thing because since they dated he had became part of it all. She missed those times were everything was easy and she had nothing to worry about, when she wasn’t the target of all the eyes and people always was watching her every move and her words, when she hasn’t to watch out her tongue. She missed when her family wasn’t a mess, they parents were together, her brother was with her and everything were smiles and laughs and plays and trips to the Hamptons and Central Park evenings playing with the ball and the snow during Christmas. If she closed her eyes she could hear the laughs of them playing there and she treasured those moments in her heart, she still was child inside. "Merry Christmas Dan." She said smiling to him. She sipped from her coffee and offered him some, she loved that time of the year and she loved to spent time with him, she made herself comfortable against him resting her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes and remembering that times when everything was easier between them.

"I've got something to say..."
"Someone else is talking."
I think, therefore I am.
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TAG: Daniel Randolph Humphrey
CLOTHES: here!
WORD COUNT: 994
LYRICS: Beautiful Suprise by India.Arie
CREDITS: temp by SARI of EOTW! & CAUTION!

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